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Please note the items you are about to read consist largely of scurrilous gossip, vicious back-stabbing and idle speculation. As Jon Stewart might say, its stories are not fact checked. Its informants are not journalists. And its opinions are not fully thought through.

The Gonads Website

Sept 21. Gal has brought in a reputable private investigator, Richie Rocker from the Crows, to look into the murky “Water-bomb Gate” affair and salvage the Gonads’ reputation in the light of Lord Waistrel’s wrong-headed and expensive public inquiry. Richie, who was at the scene in Berlin on that fateful day, tells us: “The smart money is on the round dodger!” “Lee Wilson?” we ask. “Indubitably,” he replies. “Let us consider the facts. He was the only one not in the bar when the event took place, although seconds before someone had shouted ‘Lee, it’s your round’ so this could account for his absence. Secondly, as the lethal missile sped downwards a tuneless monotone of ‘Each Dawn I Die’ was heard coming from the top floor. Thirdly, after the event, a man in a jacket that looked like it was last seen in the 1960s TV show Daktari was seen legging it down a hotel corridor laughing. Fourthly a small bag of water is the only thing that Wilson might give away for free…And fifthly, let’s face it it’s the sort of thing the tight-arsed, round dodging c*** would get up to, just to show off and try and impress the ladies.” Richie concludes: “Any suggestion that any member of The Gonads was responsible for the outrage are entirely without foundation.” Chilcott eat yer heart out!

Sept 19. Here is ‘Hodor’, the brand new Game Of Thrones track by The Gonads vs Anarchy Reigns. This will get axed off YouTube quicker than Ned Stark lost his head, so you only have seconds to memorise the complicated lyrics.

The Gonads WebsiteSept 18. It’s coming, it’s coming….

Lord Waistrel has devised a scheme to divert attention from the band’s civil war. He’s doing it like governments do – by launching an expensive and pointless inquiry into matters that should have been left buried in the past. Inquiry 1 will be into Berlin’s Waterbomb-Gate. When persons unknown attempted to splatter Chelsea Dom and his delightful paramour Mandy Crow with a fully loaded water bomb thrown from the top floor of a hotel in east Berlin overlooking the remains of the Wall. Inquiry 2 will concern the painful circumstances behind ‘Ruptured Foreskin Blues’, a Gonads song played only in the Black Forest but clearly based on a painful true incidence. Gal has dismissed the inquiries as “a ridiculous waste of time and resources” but Waistrel’s spokesman, the Judas Fat Col tells us: “Berlin was a serious incident that saw innocent Dutch punks evicted from their hotel rooms. The water bomb was expertly thrown by a master of the dark art and missed its target by inches, causing some anxiety to our good friends Dom and Mandy. A second bomb took an elderly local man off his bicycle. I am amazed that Gal so-called Gonad should want to bury our inquiry.” As to ‘Ruptured Foreskin Blues’, Colin continues: “The lyrics only allude to the cause. His Lordship wants detailed photographic evidence for his own pleasure, sorry, investigation.” Oaf.

Sept 14. Ska News: Bad Manners have announced a second 40th anniversary London show at Under the Bridge on 23rd December. The first, on the 16th, sold out in record time… Neville Staple will be releasing a new double album next month called: Return Of Judge Roughneck (and Dub Specials), supported by a UK tour featuring Neville and his band with support Christine "Sugary" Staple. They play Brixton Jamm on 8th October, tickets: £15.00.

The Gonads WebsiteSept 13. We've seen the artwork for All The Loon Stompers! It's blinding and it's soon-come people!!!

Meanwhile the Last Resort start their Japanese tour on Friday. They'll be flogging a special Japanese edition of their This Is England album with all the lyrics in Nipponese. The CD will be strictly limited to 500 copies (400 for Japan, 100 for the rest of the world) and it comes with an obi stripe (look it up - we had to!). You can get your copy from our old mates at

In other news, the odds of The Hungry & The Hunted podcast coming back imminently are described as "considerably better than Fat Col's chances of showing off his cream horn on Channel 4's Bake Off". Watch this space.

Get well soon Garry Johnson. The punk poet has been laid up for about six weeks after he was forced by ill-health to cancel his Rebellion appearance.

The Gonads WebsiteSept 12. This Saturday there's a special screening of Anarchy! – McLaren Westwood Gang at the 100 Club. Phil Strongman, who used to flog t-shirts in the Kings Road, directed the music documentary which includes candid interviews with Talcy Malcy conducted in Paris and London along with stunning unseen footage about his childhood, his 1960s activism, Vivienne Westwood, his shops and his role in punk 'anti-fashion'. The film also covers the history of European anarchism and, we're told, "a compelling exposé of the real birth of the Sex Pistols". Talking heads include The Clash, the 101ers, Bow Wow Wow, Adam Ant, Boy George, Don Letts, Tony Wilson, Tracey Emin, Stuart Christie, Nick Egan and old Viv herself (Wot? No Soo Catwoman? – Ed). The screening is at 6pm, the tickets are here.

Gal and Steve Whale chaired the inaugural meeting of the exclusive 1805 Drinking Club last night with a group of hand-picked enthusiasts. You can't join this club, you have to be invited (a bit like the Masons). But naturally if you don't know the significance of the 1805 you won't be getting in. Round-dodgers and shandy drinkers are already banned. Hard luck Lee.

Sept 10. Great news! Our blinding Ska and skinhead reggae compilation album All The Loonstompers is "expected" by the end of this month. Mind you, that said, our minicab to the Poacher's Pocket was apparently "just turning into your road now, luv" ten minutes ago. And that still ain't here either...

Sept 9. Our Number One fan, Terence Hayes (PM) has accepted Fat Col's invitation to "fix" the growing rift between Gal and Lord Waistrel. El Tel, confident that Waistrel never reads this blog, opines that the good Lord "needs a good kick in the bollocks – end of" for causing the gaping split but he goes on diplomatically "This needs to be handled with kid gloves so as to get the mighty Gonads on track and back to their very best with the new up-and-coming material". So mote it be. But, um, Waistrel don't know about 'Hodor' yet...

Music Noos: Louise Distras releases her new single, 'Aileen' on the 30th September, her first record since her Dreams From The Factory Floor. It's been co-produced by Springsteen's producer Ross Petersen and the great Steve Whale. You can pre-order it from here.

Meanwhile the excellent Beach Slang have just stuck out a video of 'Atom Bomb' their latest exuberant punkpop eruption of a number, as a taster for their new album A Loud Bash of Teenage Feelings due out on September 23, 2016 via Polyvinyl... and Dagenham's Underclass UK have recorded a brand new album which will be released digitally next month, a physical release should follow...

See the video for Green Day's new song Revolution Radio here.

Sept 8. R.I.P. reggae legend Prince Buster. 'Buster he sold the heat, with a rocksteady beat... '

In record news, Longshot have just released Rust's new 'Skins & Punks' 7inch ep... a split single from the Seaside Rebels and Legion 76 called 'Turning The Tide' on coloured vinyl... and Victory's latest 7incher 'The Code'.

Lord Waistrel is claiming responsibility, with some justification, for the new pint-sized champagne bottles that are now on the market. Fat Col tells us: "Lord Waistrel invented the pint of champagne top as a gentleman's tipple. He is nothing but a visionary." What a creep.

STOP PRESS. Oh gawd. We're hearing reports that Gal has gone ahead and recorded a brand new Game Of Thrones inspired stomper of a song with Clyde Ward and Duncan from Anarchy Reigns called 'Hodor'. Waistrel will go garrity!

Sept 4. Lord Waistrel today announced that he is planning a number of events in 2017 as part of the Gonads' glorious 'Forty Years of Failure' anniversary celebrations. These will include:

*Nads Fest, an all-day event in or near London.

*The Pure Punk For Row People live bootleg.

*A series of live dates, which are likely to include shows in continental Europe and on the US eastern seaboard featuring the Gonads USA. (Dates in Argentina, Brazil and the Balkans are still "subject to negotiations").

In other news: Pirates Press have just released the new NOi!se 7inch single 'Dull The Pain' b/w 'Betrayed' which comes in white, gold and green vinyl (also available from Randale in Europe)... Blitz's classic Voice Of A Generation LP has been re-released on vinyl by Radiation Reissues, with three additional tracks... Warzone's 1987 debut album Don't Forget The Struggle, Don't Forget The Streets will be re-released on 16th September on Revelation Records...

Sept 3. Terence Hayes, PM, is stepping in to try and negotiate a peace deal between Gal and Lord Waistrel. Fat Col tells us: "The PM is the only man respected by both sides with the clout to mediate, he's like Mr. Wolf from Pulp Fiction only with, wossname, memory issues... "

Oi News: now available from Randale Records: Control's fourth album United In Blood... the Angry Agenda's new album Society... Bishops Green cover of Eddie & the Hot Rods' 'Do Anything You Wanna Do'... and the Generators/Crashed Out split 10incher, featuring four songs from each band. In other news, Sick Of It All release a new five track album When The Smoke Clears in November.

Sept 1st. From our war correspondents Sid Sturm & Doris Drang: Bad news music lovers. Popular beat combo the Gonads are being torn apart by a savage war of words, we can reveal today. Band manager Lord Waistrel flew back from Sandy Beach, Barbados, on Tuesday and immediately SCRAPPED "ludicrous" plans for the band to develop a "drunk set". Insisting that Gonadery only works as "pure punk for row people", his Lordship also condemned "the so-called Garry Bushell Experience" (GBX) project as a "doomed folly" built on "delusion and wishful thinking". He is said to have described Gal's new songs as "must-hear for masochists".

A furious Gal hit back dubbing Waistrel "out of touch" (true) and "power mad" (undoubtedly); adding that the aristocratic manager was "a fading tyrant on the brink of insanity" (no comment), and "a near-corpse, with all the long-term vision of a blind goldfish". These and more heated words were exchanged during what eye-witnesses describe as "an onslaught of flying furniture" at Nads HQ in beautiful, downtown Charlton. But the chaos didn't end there. To add to the confusion, radical socialist Wattsie Watts has threatened to QUIT the band if Waistrel pushes through his plans to record 'Let's Frack' as a single. Experienced Wattsie watchers say that the cuddly Corbynista has reached the end of her tether and has already started moves against band management by ruthlessly unfriending Colin 'Fat Col' Gannon on Facebook, drastic action that has driven poor, heart-broken Col to "Barclaying" over other women.

Upping the ante, Gal is also believed to be on the verge of QUITTING the Gonads to throw himself full-time into GBX "to prove Waistrel wrong". Unperturbed his Lordship is already secretly auditioning for "someone young and virile" to play "the part of Gal Gonad" for a raft of 40th anniversary gigs next year. He is thought to have lined up the Shakespearean actress Anna Maxwell Martin for what he calls "the Wattsie role".

Speaking to us exclusively, a well-oiled Waistrel outrageously CONDEMNED the band's recent acoustic album London Bawling as "a sell-out" and DMG as "an unnecessary diversion". And he RULED OUT all proposed SkaNads gigs, including Skamouth next April, citing "the disaster that was Bournemouth" as justification. The move is widely interpreted as a snub to the brilliant All The Loon Stompers Ska and skinhead reggae compilation which may or may not be released later this month (Diana moves in mysterious ways Randale's wonders to perform). Waistrel's own "pure punk" Gonads live album is due for a 2017 summer release.

We attempted to contact Gal for clarification but could only get hold of his loose-lipped PA, Fit Bird who said that he "would not back down" and was pushing ahead with GBX. She claimed that Gal has written "a shed-load" of new songs with Clyde Ward including 'Becky's Bucket', 'Flann O'Brien's Bicycle', and 'The Great Sidcup Salami Scandal', adding that the project was being funded by Waistrel's great rival, the Silicon Valley multi-billionaire Chad Glockenspiel.

Many Gonads experts are calling this the greatest crisis in the band's 39-year tragicomic history. The intellectual Frank Furedi dubbed it "a right old mess and no mistake". Even Fat Col had no insights to offer. He told us "All we know for certain is that at the moment there is one Gonads gig in the book with the Rejects at Christmas and after that chaos will reign." Asked for his thoughts on the rift, Gannon said only that Waistrel had told him managing the band was a "Sisyphean task". And is it, we asked? "No idea," Gannon replied. "I don't know what Sisyphean means although I think I might have caught a dose of it once from the Nosher". Oaf.

Sources close to the band say they are "shocked and saddened by the development". Whispered one: "In the old days, wiser heads like FB would have solved the drama with a couple of phone calls, some bar-room diplomacy and a few good-natured home truths. Sadly FB has been working flat out on Nads-Fest and the Great Gonads Curry project for at least three years and for the moment is out of the game". More news when we have it.

Aug 31. The headlines: Gonads At War! Chaos Looms! Splits "inevitable"! All the dirt tomorrow!

August 2016
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July 31. A period of calm has fallen over this blog, which will not return until September at the earliest. The coming weeks, henceforth known as The Great Tranquillity, will be a time of sober reflection as we ponder the big questions: whither the Gonads, what will become of the band in 2017, our fortieth anniversary year, and what of GBX, DMG, and the 'Let's Frack' single? Will they all turn out to be a time-wasting tease or a beautiful if slightly terrifying reality? Expect definitive answers upon our homecoming. In the meantime, watch the news page for all breaking stories, such as release dates for the DVD and All The Loon Stompers. Until next time, chaps, cheerio, chin up and remember, it's STILL Lee Wilson's round.

Noos! Just out: The new Bouncing Souls album simplicity on Colour Vinyl (Rise Records)... Lee Scratch Perry's Visions Of Paradise on DVD from Cadiz... The Spitfires' second album A Thousand Times (Catch 22)

July 30. Liberty's wedding was a knock-out. Guests including Gal, Wattsie, Steve Burgess from Cock Sparrer and various Badoes knocked back ale and eels at the reception in Upminster. The proud father of the bride Terence Hayes, PM, delivered a blinding speech which we reproduce in full below, without permission.

The Gonads Website

Tel, Steve & Gal – Oi the male models. How does that song almost go? 'Because you're old, sharp as a knife... '

The Gonads WebsiteSaucy Shona put this pic of her and Tel on FB making it look like it was them who were tying the noose. Terry's wife Jackie will find this hilarious... in about ten years time when she finally calls off the vendetta...

The PM's wedding day speech: 'This is a wonderful day for the happy couple. It's a wonderful day for all of us, especially for me. Ryan, she's your problem now... I remember when Liberty was born and my mum asked what we were calling her. When I told her, Mum went "Liberty? Liberty! If you call her that she'll grow up taking a liberty." Never a truer word spoken in jest... I was a bit worried when she first started seeing Ryan because he'd already gone out with her younger sister Harley. I did warn their older sister Connie, just in case he was after the set... And Jackie... But Ryan is a good man. And a brave one... In all seriousness, I did congratulate him. I took him to one side and I said: "You will look back on this day as the happiest day of your life". Mind you, that was yesterday.

"Liberty is a lovely girl and Jackie and I are very proud of her. She is tremendously talented, and such a terrific singer that the Dropkick Murphys asked her to perform with them several times when they were in Europe. On one occasion, when she was 19, she sang with them in Birmingham. After the gig I thought she'd gone to bed so I slipped off to have a nightcap with the band on their tour bus. We were sitting there having a laugh and a beer when my mobile rang. It was a local number I didn't recognise. I answered it and it was the West Midlands constabulary. A clearly agitated police officer said "Come back to the hotel, your daughter has been arrested". I could hear her screaming in the background. The whole bus could. And half of Birmingham. I stumbled back, well I'd had a few myself, and as soon as she saw me Libs started hollering abuse at me. I was this, I was that, this was all my fault. Why? Well all this chaos happened because she'd been looking for me and couldn't find me. The batteries had gone on her phone, the hotel receptionist wouldn't let her ring me and so Libs went supernova. I did manage to calm it down but Jackie was not impressed. The Dropkick Murphys were though. The next day they said to me "That was so cool, no Murphy has ever been arrested on tour... " You've got all that fun to come Ryan. You can't say you weren't warned. No, but you're good to her, you're a great dad to Ted and you'll make a great husband. If you can suffer that, you've got to be a saint.

July 29. Congratulations to the lovely and brilliantly talented Liberty Hayes on her wedding day.

Big Rebellion news! Bad news: the Street Dogs have pulled their entire European tour so they're not now performing. Good news: Cock Sparrer will now play a second "hang-over set" early on Sunday evening. Sparrer say: 'When our mates Street Dogs had to unfortunately pull out of Rebellion after cancelling their whole European tour, we thought we'd offer up our services to play another set on the Sunday. We'd only be hanging around getting drunk, so now we can hang around, get drunk and play a few songs as well! This is going to be a punk rock party! We'll be hungover, you'll be hungover – welcome to THE HANGOVER SET. We'll be doing their slot in the TOWER ST ARENA at 6.50pm on Sunday. Just a 50 minute set – get up, plug in and play. Saturday is already SOLD OUT and it's going to be busy in the Empress Ballroom, but there are still SUNDAY tickets available apparently but check the website often as it looks like the weekend will be sold out in advance this year. Can't wait!'

Congrats to Garry Johnson who did his first-ever poetry and stand-up performance in Bethnal Green last night.

The Gonads WebsiteJuly 28. The race and the wait is over!!! We're proud to announce that our acoustic album London Bawling is now in stock at our shop page featuring sixteen terrific tracks - that's the full Rebellion acoustic stage set. Recorded, re-arranged and really cooking...

July 25. Lord Waistrel last night took decisive action to end "the bloody chaos" on the Gonads album front. With three LPs already set to be released before Christmas, his Lordship BANNED Gal from even setting foot in Pat Collier's studio before next March "at the very earliest". Waistrel also AXED Fat Col's so-called Great Gonads Stakes asserting that betting had been "thoroughly corrupted" by insider information. As regular readers know, we have two official albums waiting for release, London Bawling and All The Loon Stompers, plus our first live DVD. To complicate matters, Waistrel is planning to bring out an official live bootleg album before Xmas. Our misanthropic benefactor has already intervened to POSTPONE our proposed new e.p., which he has put back until late Spring 2017, and he is said to have moved "swiftly and mercilessly" when he heard that Gal is busy 1) writing a new Oi! album, 2) a second all-new Ska and reggae album, and 3) has already drawn up detailed plans for a 20-track Greater Hits Volume 4. An insider whispers "Gal has gone a bit bonkers and is writing a song a day. This seven month ban has really shaken him up." Rebel Corbynista Wattsie Watts last night condemned Waistrel's "draconian" intervention, likening it to "a military coup". But wiser heads, i.e. everyone else, agreed that Gal had to be restrained and a proper plan of action put in place. Scrotum, his Lordship's wrinkled retainer, said conclusively: "Henough his henough." Hindeed.

There are now two Punks Against Homelessness gigs lined up in London as part of the Musicians Against Homelessness campaign, involving everyone from Glen Matlock to Steve Diggle, but what has become of the Oi one? We're told that Lee Wilson took over the planning three weeks ago "after Barnet lost interest" but nothing has been heard since. Thirsty Mr Wilson has been busy of course; the Infas are now playing Chile after gigging in Continental Europe – Lee notes on Facebook, "Wow! That was a great German tour, I chewed a lot of big hot German sausage though!" (So those old rumours are true! – Tittle-Tattle Ed). But why has this gig proved so hard to organise? We have the bands, we just need the venue. We're calling the A Team, Wattsie Watts, to get this sorted.

The Gonads WebsiteJuly 23. Well it's finished! Our blinding Ska & skinhead reggae compilation All The Loon Stompers has been mixed and mastered with extra sax supplied by Dex Green (pictured). The sixteen tracks are winging their way to Germany even as we speak, where the well-oiled machine that is Randale Records will turn the LP around for a September release (with any luck). A small party of Nads – Gal, Wattsie, Paul Skanad and Miss Management – supervised the mixing stage earlier this week under the watchful eyes of East London stag comic Willie Thompson and comedy legend Micky Pugh (the voice of grandad on 'Avoid The Vexation Of Women'). We'll post more info when we have it, but first the big question: How has it turned out? A tired and emotional Gal tells us: "When the late great Judge Dread first heard 'Oi Mate' back in the 90s he said to me 'If the Gonads had sounded like this in 1980, you'd be bigger than Bad Manners'. After hearing All The Loon Stompers I finally believe him." Ska and reggae stars guesting on the platter include Dave Barker, Jennie Bellestar, Nick Welsh, and the Skarettes with additional guest appearances from Clyde Ward, Liberty Hayes, Jack from P45, and of course the living legend wot is Stief A'Billy. We said it was blinding earlier. That's wrong and we apologise – it's double blinding! Double u o-o-o!

PS. Sadly we still can't say which of our projects will be on sale next. Judging by Fat Col's latest odds, it looks like a toss-up between the splendid acoustic album London's Bawling and the live DVD which is now just days away from the manufacturing stage... watch this space.

The Gonads WebsiteJuly 22. It's here! The latest issue of Street Sounds is finally on sale – only six weeks late. It's a Mod special featuring the Purple Hearts, the Spitfires and a host of new Mod bands, but it still has plenty of room for a Rebellion New Band Stage guide, a Punk & Disorderly over-view by Chelsea Dom, an Aussie special including Rust and Sharpies and much more...


Just re-issued by Nitro Records, these Vandals LPs on colour vinyl: 1998's Hitler Bad, Vandals Good, 1995's Live Fast, Diarrhoea, 1996's The Quickening and 2000's Look What I Almost Stepped In.

July 20. The new issue of Napalm Re-Loaded is on sale in south east London's seedier pubs. The latest edition of the world's most pig-headedly underground, malice and envy-driven fanzine features an in-depth chat with Chatham veterans Crotchless Drawers, a photo essay on the lost pubs of Charlton and Woolwich and an interview with North Yorkshire's punk-meditation sect The Psychic Ostlers. Also featured: Brutus shirts, a celebration of Denmark Street's old TPA club, Germany's toughest mobs rated by a Frenchman, a Terry Hayes retrospective, the savage rift in the League of Labour Skins, the perfect Lager Top guide, Born Naked, Thatcher's Young Tigers, Australia's Witches Are Amongst Us, a scene report from Nether Wallop, under the microscope with Dutch socialist Tiny Kox, Flemish punk photographer Jussi Fokkus, Britain's best amphetamine deals by city and "next-big-thing", Croatia's own Lubricant Overload.

July 15. The Cockney Rejects, the Ruts DC and Guida will take part in a Punk Rock Pins & Pin-Ups Weekender at London's Brooklyn Bowl on 8th October, organised by our good pals at Vive Le Rock.

The Gonads WebsiteArthur Kay & The Originals headline a Ska & Soul charity gig at the Kings Hall, Herne Bay, Kent, on 2nd September, to raise funds for the Pilgrims Hospice. Support are Toot 'n' Skamen, plus Northern Soul DJ set, street poetry, and scooters on display.

In other news: Tiger Army play UK dates in November. Penetration play the 100 Club on August 19 and Patterns Brighton on 20th . And our Italian pals, streetpunk legends Klasse Kriminale celebrate their 30th anniversary with a new 7-inch single. It's called rather surprisingly 30 Years and features three re-recorded and re-mastered songs from their very first release. Limited to 400 on red vinyl & 100 on black vinyl.

July 14. Twisted Sister's Jay Jay French will take part in a special metal event at the Prince Charles cinema in London's Leicester Square on 10th August. The band's film, We Are Twisted F***ing Sister, will have its West End premier and then guitar star Jay Jay and movie director Andy Horn will take part in an exclusive Question & Answer session chaired by Gal F***in' Gonad.

While we're here: The Spitfires' second album, A Thousand Times, is released 26th August via Catch 22 Records... The Harrington Saints and Control have released a four-track split 7inch e.p. called Pick Your Poison on Randale... Pure Hell's Noise Addiction LP is now available again on vinyl, as is Rancid's... And Out Come The Wolves.

July 13. The New Untouchables' Modernist & Sixties Weekender is back in Brighton this August bank holiday. The Saturday & Sunday daytime events are both FREE at the Volks Tavern, 200 yards east of Brighton Pier. There's plenty of parking for the scooters. Live bands on Saturday include young soul sensation MARTA REN & THE GROOVELVETS making her UK debut and young Southend band THE BEATNIKS. Sunday is the eagerly anticipated Scooter competition held outside the Volks at 2pm followed by the scooter run. DJ sessions and market on both afternoons selling records, memorabilia and vintage and bespoke clothes. Evening events are from 11pm at Brighton's Komedia Theatre. All info at

The Gonads WebsiteJuly 6. The race is on! Odds on the Gatwick Gangsters movie coming out before London Bawling have plunged from 100-1 to 7-1 in 36 hours. Do the punters know something we don't? (We note that the odds are still shorter on Bawling and All The Loonstompers... )

Our glory boy pals Secret Affair release their first vinyl single for decades next month. It's their cover of Frank Wilson's Northern Soul classic, 'Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)' on their own I-Spy label. The b-side is a Hammond instrumental. The limited edition beauty is out on 12th August, which by handy coincidence is also when their latest UK tour starts.

The Gonads WebsiteMeanwhile the ever-busy Randale Records have just released the Fatskins' debut album Thinkin' Like A Fatskin for the first time on vinyl. The 12-track LP from the Phoenix based band includes their cover of Judge Dread's powerful protest song about the hardships faced by female farm-workers, 'Up With The Cock'.

July 5. Lord Waistrel is calling on all Oi bands to "infiltrate Britain's Got Talent and subvert it from within". Waistrel thinks every UK street-punk combo should sign up to the ITV show under false names and play "something innocent" at the audition stage. Scrotum, Waistrel's wrinkled retainer, explains: "'Is Lordship his convinced that hat least one Oi band could make hit through to the live finals" and then, chums, "let chaos reign!" We're up for it. Are you?

Our bolshy pal Louise Distras kicks off a new European tour in Nuremberg on the 24th of this month, followed by Essen, Groningen, Koln and Bern. No word yet on Untertitting, Wankendorf or Feuchtwangen.

Just as Fat Col was feeling confident enough about the great Gonads Stakes to contemplate setting up as an actual bookie – presumably Lardbrokes, StyBet or Podgy Power – he has been stung by a large and unexpected punt. A well-connected gent, "Three Eggs" Eddie, stunned Col last night by walking into the Newbridge and sticking a monkey (£500) in readies on Gatwick Gangsters to be out before any other Nads-related contender. This hard-nosed crime movie, co-starring Gal, Wattsie Watts, Bobby 'Dazzler' George and David Courtney, has been off the radar for more than a year. But quick phone calls established that producer Sally 'Shampagne' Clark has been out in Hollywood doing a deal with pukka LA producers. Could Gatwick Gangsters see the light of day ahead of the London Bawling album? No-one seems to know for sure, but with odds at 100-1, we do know one fat bloke in Plumstead who is getting extremely worried...

Quick reminder: Gal plays East End George, a legit villain, in the long-awaited feature film, Wattsie is his secretary Lucy Linfield, Bobby George is Diamond Larry, Courtney is crime boss Ray Razor, Rhoda Dakar is a Voodoo Princess, Micky Pugh is a dodgy gold dealer, and Leah McCaffrey is Lady Vanessa. Oh and 'Rob A Bank' is on the sound track. Can't wait!

Random news: Chixdiggit! have announced that their next release, 2012, will be "the longest punk song ever recorded, clocking in at just under 25 minutes and highlighting a full year of the band on tour, it's as if you, the listener, were Chixdiggit's roadie. You are right there with them, around the world and back again, except without all the heavy lifting." It's out on Fat Wreck Chords in September... Britain's all-time best-selling albums have been announced today, with Queen, Abba and the Beatles predictably topping the chart. There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that the all-time worst-selling albums are Robin Thicke's Paula and Sound & Fury by Infa Riot rebranded as "The Infas".

July 4. Garry Johnson, socialist street-poet, makes his return to live poetry this weekend. The Cockney wordsmith joins Linton Kwesi Johnson, Phill Jupitus, Tim Wells, Salena Godden and more on Saturday at the Stand-Up & Spit punk weekender at London's Roundhouse. Their performance follows a discussion including Dennis Bovell, Buzzcocks manager Richard Boon, Rhoda Dakar and New York punk Danny Fields. Laura Anderson, of Thee Jezebels, will round off the day with a punk singalong. Gazza's new book, The Cockney Bard – From Bow Bells To Bitter Street, has just been published by Newhaven.

Betting news: big money (well at least a ton) has been placed on London Bawling being the first of our new albums to hit the streets. Fat Col tells us "a bulls-eye" of that came from the notorious East London Hydrant Firm who are said to be "all-knowing". The fat fool is now contemplating an act of sabotage to fix the results.

July 2. Fat Col has opened a book on which Gonads masterpiece will be out next. London Bawling is currently favourite at 5/2 with All The Loonstompers breathing down its neck at 3/1; behind them are The Gonads By The Thames DVD at 7/1, the mysterious Waistrel-backed live album (As Yet Untitled) at 20/1, and the “spooky” ‘Shona & The Alien’ single (as yet unrecorded) at 50/1. All other releases are 100/1. Get betting!

Out this week: The Interrupters’ 7-incher ‘Babylon’ b/w ‘Jenny Drinks’ (Hellcat), produced by Tim Armstrong. Also just released, Blink-182’s latest album, California, their first for five years, on BMG; their 1999 album Enema Of The State has been reissued on vinyl too (limited edition from SRC Vinyl).

July 1st. Why is issue 15 of Street Sounds more than a month late? One source close to the mag tells us that contributors were so divided about Brexit that Toes decided to put the issue back until after the dust had settled. (A previous issue included an EU debate with the case against put at great length by John King, and a short rebuttal from the pro-EU Toes).

Sick Of It All have announced European dates, including Bristol, Birmingham and London Underworld in August.

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